If we give too much importance to others and how they treat us, how we are a victim of circumstances, a victim of others, then we will always be a victim of others.

What will it take for us to take our own life into our own hands? our happiness into our own hands? What will take to take back ALL our powers? to realise that we have always been enough, that others do not need to validate us, our happiness now – do not lie in others’ hands, actions or inactions.

If you have felt neglected, abandoned at some point in your life, you were being reminded that YOU have neglected and abandoned your own self.  There is no greater thing than self love, it is complete love, when you feel the self love, you will feel the immense power you have, then it will not matter if you didn’t have a good life so far, if it was filled with pain and suffering, if your childhood was a really bad one, if you didn’t feel loved, or were abused by someone whom you trusted, if you weren’t protected by your parents, if your life was upside down.

What matters is that when we love ourself to the point of saying, ” I will not tolerate anyone, anything that abuses me, disrespects me, who does not honour me as much as I do, I will remove anyone from my life, if I don’t feel the level of honour and respect I have for myself” – and then follow up, give yourself that honour, that love, that respect that you have always wanted, waited for, once you have that for yourself, your energy will change and you will become ruthless in the way that you allow people to deal with you.

Once we begin to honour ourself, the world changes, the world aligns to bring more of the same vibration that we have been aligning with, all one-sided relations fall away, takers are dissolved, evil monsters cannot connect with us anymore, we become so elevated, that our energy repels those who do not align with us, friendships break, karmic relationships fall away, karma is cleared, pain and suffering dissolve, we see the truth about everything, we become very good at gaging situations and people.

It is important that we heal our wounds of the past and in childhood, so we have a good life.  Healing our past will bring up a lot of traumas, related to our childhood, our upbringing, particularly when we were in the womb and when we were between the ages of 0-7 years of age.  These remain in our subconscious all our lives, it is these experiences that mould our adulthood and our experiences.  We keep on reliving our childhood experiences all our life.

If our childhood was filled with trauma and dysfunction, then our adult life mirrors that, that’s why people who have an abusive childhood have an abusive adulthood.  We relive our childhood experiences over and over and over again, until we reveal to ourself that we need to get our of this cycle and take responsibility for our actions in the present.

It’s not our fault what happened in the past, particularly when we were children, but when we are adult, we must take responsibility for our life, our happiness and all of our decisions, staying stuck in the past, blaming others for our failure is not taking responsibility for our own life.

Taking responsibility means taking our powers back, stop blaming the past (and people in it) for our failures, heal ourselves and move on from a painful past to a beautiful present, a lot of work is needed for this, but it is possible to have a beautiful life filled with love once we take responsibility of our own life, wellbeing and happiness.

There are many ways to heal the self, to reach the point of self love, forgiveness, unconditional love and compassion for those who have harmed us.  By seeing them as beings who had too much pain, who did not know how to live life, how to make their own life better, how to love others, their way of showing love was to control, enslave, possess what they felt was theirs, they did not know freedom, but have always been caged, how to take responsibility for their own happiness and wellbeing, by having strong boundaries, by saying no, by standing up for themself and by honouring themself.

Those who control and enslave others into relationships of enslavement are not happy for themself, being themself, they will pass on their pain and suffering to others through abuse, psychological, spiritual, emotional, physical, psychic/mental abuse and control.  That’s all they know and are used to.  They have been doing this forever and they are not able to change.  These people lose a lot because they do have a lot of loving people in their lives, but because of their enslavement of those around them, they end up alone and rejected.

No one wants those who control, enslave, abuse others, so – they tend to end up totally alone and their cycle of abuse, resentment, hatred continue for those beings.  They don’t want to break the cycle and habits they have become so accustomed to.  After all, owning other people’s powers is such a boost of power for the self isn’t it?  they don’t want to do the hard work of looking at their own source of pain and suffering, to unveil the truth about their ways and start the healing, so, we have to move on, without them, to make sure that we are healthy, happy, heal in a safe place without those who control, manipulate, harm and abuse.

Once we reach that level of self love, we have taken responsibility of our own happiness.

May those who are lost find their way.

Kiran G