10 Stages To Break Out of The Painful Past!
Stuck in the Past?
It’s tough not to focus on the bad things that have taken place. When we are stuck in the past, not knowing how to move forward, it can be difficult to find a way to move on.
After all, life is a blend of attentiveness to the detail of things, being proactive, taking action and also a mixture of letting go of the past. How do we let go of the past? How do we focus on the present, if all we think about is the pain of the past?
The key to not being stuck in the pain and suffering of the past, is to constantly work on healing that past. The healing work takes time, we cannot focus on the present, the goodness we already have, until we have made peace with our past.
Focusing on the Negatives for too long, steals life out of life!
The past is a dimension in our unconscious/subconscious part of the mind. Where we have stored stuff that we do not want to see, hear, know, feel, touch or smell. The problem is that the more we repress those issues, the more lessons are presented to us so we are taken back to our original wound.
The original wound, is that wound that hurt us so much, that our mind does not want to remember. When we go back and deal with that “mother of all wounds”, we then can heal and move on. Focusing on the past, is not so much a focus, it is where we end up living, if we do not resolve the issues that we have, with the people that we have.
Aim To Resolve Your Issues
Aim to resolve your issues, do not file away your pain indefinitely, the pain that kept you so long into the cycle of suffering. Let go of what does not work, especially old relationships, toxic situations, worn out energies, old patterns, people whom you don’t align with anymore, those who are critical, abusive, who make you feel bad. Find a solution that works for you, you are the best judge of that. Also, not everyone is your friend.
So, be discerning!
Once you resolve your past, your focus will shift on the present. The attention will not be pulled in the past, where all the pain is, but will see and enjoy the goodness that is already here. When they say “let go of the past” – what people really mean is to resolve your past, with the people who have been a pain in your life.
How to Let Go of the Past
You don’t have to be around those who have hurt you, you don’t have to talk to them to resolve issues with them, it can all be done through visualisation and meditation (in your mind). Practice forgiveness, this may take many times, but eventually, it will happen.
Resolving your past can be done in 10 stages:
- Inventory – Routinely look at what needs changing in your life. Take an inventory of what you want, what needs to go. Declutter and detoxify your life – energetically.
- Nourish – Create a nourishing environment for yourself, a life you feel happy to be in, to come back to, with good friends, people and loved ones only. Declutter/Detoxify the old energy, let go, have a clear out, mentally let go of things you don’t need, then physically it will also happen.
- Speak Out – Talk about your issues with someone you trust, one good friend who is not going to judge you, will just listen, offer guidance and support if needed. Journal, write things down, let it out in some way.
- Reassure – Reassure yourself that you are ok, you are doing the best you can, you are trying your best and that you are safe. This will stop anxiety/panic attacks.
- Introspection – Schedule a time for self care, self introspection. Look at the issue regularly, try not to box it away indefinitely, open that dark room full of pain and suffering, take your time, be gentle with yourself. For the first time, see the good in the people who have wronged you, see their perspective of things. I.e – they may have passed their pain onto you because they know nothing but pain.
- Mindfulness – Practice Mindfulness and Meditation. Keep breathing deeply. We can calm ourselves down totally through our breath, breathe deeply into your belly, keep a steady, deep flow of breaths, count 3 seconds – inhale, pause for 3 seconds, exhale for 3 seconds. Repeat for 5 minutes at regular intervals.
- Love – Do what you love, be with those whom you love, eat what you love, practice self love.
- Move – Move your body, walk, dance, flow into your movement. This will heal you from traumas. Yoga and Tai Chi are very good to heal the body, mind and soul.
- Create – make some art, cook, plant a garden, create something new, try something new every day, keep on doing new things, this will inject passion back into your life. Try ART THERAPY, where you make art with your emotions. This is totally intutive and unplanned and it’s very healing to the mind.
- Forgive – Forgive those who have wronged you. Keep forgiving until the pain is gone.
Make sure you are constantly trying to clear the clutter, the old and worn out. This is the key to self healing. Accept the past, it happened, you don’t have to be a victim, acknowledge the pain/suffering. Forgive and Let go.
Wish you well. It takes courage to heal the self.