Giving Too Much, Is A Way To Sacrifice Yourself!
If you’ve learnt that nothing comes to you if you don’t overgive, then you are one of the people who are ready to sacrifice yourself for the good of others.
When did you learn that you have to sacrifice yourself for love? If when you were little all you did to get noticed or loved, was to over-give, then you are doing the same thing right now, without you knowing.
You are doing this subconsciously, you are not even aware. Who in your family believed in sacrificing themselves for others? perhaps one or both of your care-givers were sacrificing themselves for others. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes we do have to sacrifice certain choices for the good of others/another. For example, not going out with friends or family members to look after your child or someone who needs you to be there. That’s a sacrifice. If you have to constantly sacrifice yourself and others do not have to, then, recheck your programs from when you were a child. Healthy sacrifices are sometimes necessary, a mother has to make a lot of sacrifices for her child/children. This should not be a chronic giving, where the life leaves you totally and you feel depleted all the time, then you feel angry and bitter for giving. Fill your own cup too, give only when you have to, don’t over give, know when you need to give and when not to, give with balance, keep some for yourself, don’t give everything you have away, don’t feel obliged to give (this will be different depending on circumstances), if a family member is sick, perhaps we are their caregiver, then there will be no option, if possible take turn, ask for help from others who can help, ask others to give as well, ask for contribution from others (if possible).
What I am saying is, do not give because you feel you have to, if your heart is saying no but you feel obliged to give, then this will breed resentment, you will also keep on attracting people who come to deplete you, take from you, who come to fleece you! It’s a pattern that stays for a long time, do not be harsh on yourself, it’s a pattern you’ve learnt when you were a child, it can be changed, with awareness and healing the inner child. By also unlearning the ways of our caregivers, which were unbalanced and not healthy, it wasn’t their fault either. How are your intimate relationships? are you attracted to those who come to take from you, who are violent in their frequency? who take with force? who force you to give and then leave? Heal your heart, your trauma bonds with these people and heal your inner child. I wish you well. Choose the healthy and available, the one who gives to you without even thinking about it.