Have you fallen into the trap of blaming others for the misery that befall you? things that continue to happen now, is in your hands. You always have a choice. I am of course referring to things and situations that we are able to change and are within OUR powers to change.
I am referring to circumstances that we are able to change, such as; leaving a toxic situation, healing our hearts from trauma, taking control of our emotions, becoming in charge of our lives, stop complaining, stop being the perpetual victim, heal the patterns of the past, standing up for ourselves, moving onto a new perspective, dimension, removing toxic people from our lives and so on.
If we remain somewhere or in a situation that we are able to control and we aren’t taking action, then we have to take responsibility for our action/inaction. Become in control of your life, of your mind, if you are stuck in a toxic pattern, let me show you the way to free yourself.
Here at Golden Sun Academy, I have written a few books on healing the self, healing the self with love, healing the mind, body, spirit, especially the emotions. I have also given some speeches, spoke at some seminars on how to be in control of the mind.
Most people on this earth are unconscious – they are walking, talking from the unconscious self, to become conscious of ourselves, we have to take a few steps and this is exactly what I teach, how to become conscious about everything in life.
By becoming conscious and in control of our minds, we become super-powers of focused laser-minds. We can focus our attention to something and things manifest. Most people are born and die in the unconscious mode. This is what buddhist/hindu monks/priests have known for eternity.
If you would like to learn how to become a bank of super powers, get in touch.
It’s tough not to focus on the bad things that have taken place. When we are stuck in the past, not knowing how to move forward, it can be difficult to find a way to move on.
After all, life is a blend of attentiveness to the detail of things, being proactive, taking action and also a mixture of letting go of the past. How do we let go of the past? How do we focus on the present, if all we think about is the pain of the past?
The key to not being stuck in the pain and suffering of the past, is to constantly work on healing that past. The healing work takes time, we cannot focus on the present, the goodness we already have, until we have made peace with our past.
Focusing on the Negatives for too long, steals life out of life!
The past is a dimension in our unconscious/subconscious part of the mind. Where we have stored stuff that we do not want to see, hear, know, feel, touch or smell. The problem is that the more we repress those issues, the more lessons are presented to us so we are taken back to our original wound.
The original wound, is that wound that hurt us so much, that our mind does not want to remember. When we go back and deal with that “mother of all wounds”, we then can heal and move on. Focusing on the past, is not so much a focus, it is where we end up living, if we do not resolve the issues that we have, with the people that we have.
Aim To Resolve Your Issues
Aim to resolve your issues, do not file away your pain indefinitely, the pain that kept you so long into the cycle of suffering. Let go of what does not work, especially old relationships, toxic situations, worn out energies, old patterns, people whom you don’t align with anymore, those who are critical, abusive, who make you feel bad. Find a solution that works for you, you are the best judge of that. Also, not everyone is your friend.
So, be discerning!
Once you resolve your past, your focus will shift on the present. The attention will not be pulled in the past, where all the pain is, but will see and enjoy the goodness that is already here. When they say “let go of the past” – what people really mean is to resolve your past, with the people who have been a pain in your life.
How to Let Go of the Past
You don’t have to be around those who have hurt you, you don’t have to talk to them to resolve issues with them, it can all be done through visualisation and meditation (in your mind). Practice forgiveness, this may take many times, but eventually, it will happen.
Resolving your past can be done in 10 stages:
Inventory – Routinely look at what needs changing in your life. Take an inventory of what you want, what needs to go. Declutter and detoxify your life – energetically.
Nourish – Create a nourishing environment for yourself, a life you feel happy to be in, to come back to, with good friends, people and loved ones only. Declutter/Detoxify the old energy, let go, have a clear out, mentally let go of things you don’t need, then physically it will also happen.
Speak Out – Talk about your issues with someone you trust, one good friend who is not going to judge you, will just listen, offer guidance and support if needed. Journal, write things down, let it out in some way.
Reassure – Reassure yourself that you are ok, you are doing the best you can, you are trying your best and that you are safe. This will stop anxiety/panic attacks.
Introspection – Schedule a time for self care, self introspection. Look at the issue regularly, try not to box it away indefinitely, open that dark room full of pain and suffering, take your time, be gentle with yourself. For the first time, see the good in the people who have wronged you, see their perspective of things. I.e – they may have passed their pain onto you because they know nothing but pain.
Mindfulness – Practice Mindfulness and Meditation. Keep breathing deeply. We can calm ourselves down totally through our breath, breathe deeply into your belly, keep a steady, deep flow of breaths, count 3 seconds – inhale, pause for 3 seconds, exhale for 3 seconds. Repeat for 5 minutes at regular intervals.
Love – Do what you love, be with those whom you love, eat what you love, practice self love.
Move – Move your body, walk, dance, flow into your movement. This will heal you from traumas. Yoga and Tai Chi are very good to heal the body, mind and soul.
Create – make some art, cook, plant a garden, create something new, try something new every day, keep on doing new things, this will inject passion back into your life. Try ART THERAPY, where you make art with your emotions. This is totally intutive and unplanned and it’s very healing to the mind.
Forgive – Forgive those who have wronged you. Keep forgiving until the pain is gone.
Make sure you are constantly trying to clear the clutter, the old and worn out. This is the key to self healing. Accept the past, it happened, you don’t have to be a victim, acknowledge the pain/suffering. Forgive and Let go.
Ah the mind! what a minefield! How many people have control over their mind contents? thoughts? actions? the mind is a powerful powerhouse, an infinite hard drive, filled with super powers, as well a chaos and confusion.
If we come to believe everything the mind tells us, we have given it too much power. When we change the way we see things and the world changes, its people changes. Taming the mind is a powerful endeavour, that can be done after some practice.
The mind is a great saboteur, it sabotages us regularly, making us think things that are crazy, if we believe those crazy constructions of the mind, then it’s controlling us. Become in control of this saboteur, take control of the mind, the mind will make us think all kinds of things, to keep us controlled.
These could have been implanted inside us, or it could be complete fabrication. When we become in control of the mind, it cannot control us anymore, it cannot sabotage us anymore.
Telling the mind that it’s not in control anymore, that it cannot project lies onto us for us to believe, it then becomes tamed, a wild beast becomes totally tamed and under control. An undisciplined mind brings chaos and disorder. Controlling our thoughts, programming the mind with new programs, that we have installed into our system, is the best thing we can do.
If other programs, we haven’t agreed to, were installed, then of course our programs run the way it was programmed, by whomever it was programmed. But, when we take full control of our mind, delete horrific programs, viruses, implants, then it will respond to our own programs.
Self sabotage is when the mind does what it wants, without it being controlled by the person’s will. These programs run chaotic programs, it may have been running with errors, in our ancestors, we accepted it as it was passed on, but if we remove old defective programs and download new ones, healthy, updated, upgraded, we install anti viruses, firewalls, VPNs so only those whom we want to connect with, can connect with us.
We become in control of the mind, it cannot control us anymore. If others have downloaded programs in your hard drive, you agreed or did not object, then it was installed -removing those old programs is a must. Destructive programs running alongside the new programs, cause crashes, freezes and disorder.
Remember to reboot, scan the system often for worms, trojans, viruses or evil programs. These of course are people whom you do not want in your life, who have been somehow implanted – remove them by upgrading your system. Unwanted horror must be removed.
Clean your system, reboot or change the hard drive if you need to, to get rid of unwanted beasts, if necessary.
All the child wants is love, love and more love. Is this kind of love attainable on this earth? from earthly mothers? in this day and age, it seems humans do not know how to love. Love is equated with possession, abuse, control and all kinds of possessiveness that is being justified as love by everyone involved in these relationships.
A mother who controls her child to the extent of not allowing the child to be herself, himself, may justify it as love and discipline.
Our earthly values taught us that jealousy in a relationship means love and part of romance. That someone who loves us should be jealous and possessive.
These values also taught us that possessiveness means love – the more someone loves us, the more possessive they can become and it’s acceptable for a man or woman to be possessive, own their prize of “love”. Love has been misnamed, love doesn’t hurt, love heals, frees the spirit, allows total freedom to the spirit, love does not possess, but fear does.
When we are a child, we look to our parents for our own model to mould our own life. If our parents were not very balanced, then we become unbalanced too. When in the womb, how did our mother feel? were they happy of our arrival? of our existence? of us adding to their beautiful world or adding to their misery?
When we were in the womb, what seed was planted? seed of love or fear? this will reflect our life onwards. If our life is good, we attract good men/women/partners/friendships, then they have done a good job of loving us, honouring us, teaching us strong boundaries, setting us free to learn, make mistakes, choose our own life and how to live it. If not, the likelihood is that, we continue to make bad choices which take us back to destruction/fear/pain and suffering.
The good news is, whatever our life is right now, know that from now, this point on – we can make the change, if we are devoted to our own cause – self love, self honour, self worth, self mastery. This can change everything, honouring the self gives us everything we need, once we start to honour the self, we can go back to the past and heal it.
Once we start to honour the self, we will see that the past holds all of the secrets, a lot of it when we were not even aware of ourselves, i.e, when we were in the womb, or age between 0-7 years, that’s when the foundation were set for us. If we had a bad childhood, bad start, we can change it for us in the present. Heal the childhood, give ourself space to feel the grief, the pain or failure of our parents/family members, know that they had a lot of traumas too, which goes back generations to ancestors of the past.
The traumas and pain we feel is not something we feel alone. All of our ancestors feel the same, the energy gets passed from generation to generation in our DNA and bloodline, nothing ever goes away, until it is acknowledged and healed. In acknowledging our pain, we must also acknowledge the pain of our ancestors. Constellation healing, family placement healing is a good way of giving ancestors a platform to heal and be heard.
Acknowledging ancestors pain is a powerful way of healing our pain and suffering, the greater our pain, the more destructive our life, the more pain that is stored in the ancestors’ DNA, subconscious minds, which must be healed. It can be complex to deal with family/ancestors’ healing, as when you begin, the thread keeps on unravelling which can seem infinite in nature, as ancestral lineage can go back to millenia and if we take each person has their mother and father and grandparents, great-grandparents and so on, their pain and suffering, can go on for what seems to be forever.
But, if we want to deal with our own healing, we have to deal with the pain and suffering of the ancestors, we are linked, the tree of life, has roots, the trunk, branches and fruits. Which means we are part of a tree, if parts of the tree is sick, then we can’t be well. The tree as a whole needs to be looked at for us to be healed as part of the tree. If there is cancer in a part of the tree, it will catch up to the rest at some point.
In every generation there is a healer, but it depends if the healer can respond to the challenge and do the job, if the job is not done in that lifetime, then the task goes to the next generation, to the next healer, who again, if they do not rise to the healing challenge, then the task gets passed on and on and on and the healing demands more energy and becomes a bigger task.
Everyone must take responsibility of healing and dealing with their own pain and suffering. If they don’t then the healer becomes the one who bears the burden of the whole ancestral lineage, this can become and impossible task to achieve for one person. it is better to have more than one healer in a lineage of ancestors. This way the work is shared and the family heals fast. When we acknowledge the ancestors suffering, we give it space to heal, feeling the feelings of our ancestors, releasing them from their binds, karma is liberating to the souls of the past, present and future.
The inner child heals completely when it feels safe, protected, loved and honoured. This can only come when the adult loves their inner child, that is the biggest love and healing that will ever take place for the child. Self love is the greatest love and when the child accepts divine healing from the source, in the knowledge that humans are not perfect, divine is whole and only divine spirit can heal the child to wholeness and be the mother, father that the child has always needed, wanted and craved for.
When the child understand its own journey in this humanly existence, it heals completely. The inner child goes through a lot of trauma in its existence, in the womb, outside of the womb, growing up in an alien world, feeling different, unloved, lost, separation with itself, with others and then coming back to itself.
The finding the self part is very exciting, most of our life we think we are our parents, our friends, others on telly, we take parts of others and mimic to make believe we are who we aren’t. Then, when we become empowered, we remove all those fake layers and reveal ourself to ourself first and then the world.
We aren’t our mother, our father, brother, sister, friend/s, people on telly, we are totally unique, one of a kind, someone that is limitless, we exist at the same time we don’t exist, we are love, the sum of all that’s happened, the lessons, our ancestors, the sky, the elements, the earth, the water, fire, wood, trees, birds, butterflies, flowers, the star, planets, our art, we are and we aren’t all of these at the same time. No one can define who we are, as we are limitless beings of unlimited powers.
healing the inner child takes a long time, commitment and love to free ourselves from pain and suffering, this is total enlightenment and can be achieved on this plane. We can be free of pain and suffering, we can heal all of our pain and emotional suffering, our body, mind and spirit – minus the lessons of karma we have elected to learn in this lifetime.
Clearing karma is a must to reach freedom from pain and suffering. Total freedom of the soul is achievable, through hard work, patience and a lot of clearing work. The healing begins when the soul says, I want to be free, the healing begins and the soul becomes free in its own time.
If we give too much importance to others and how they treat us, how we are a victim of circumstances, a victim of others, then we will always be a victim of others.
What will it take for us to take our own life into our own hands? our happiness into our own hands? What will take to take back ALL our powers? to realise that we have always been enough, that others do not need to validate us, our happiness now – do not lie in others’ hands, actions or inactions.
If you have felt neglected, abandoned at some point in your life, you were being reminded that YOU have neglected and abandoned your own self. There is no greater thing than self love, it is complete love, when you feel the self love, you will feel the immense power you have, then it will not matter if you didn’t have a good life so far, if it was filled with pain and suffering, if your childhood was a really bad one, if you didn’t feel loved, or were abused by someone whom you trusted, if you weren’t protected by your parents, if your life was upside down.
What matters is that when we love ourself to the point of saying, ” I will not tolerate anyone, anything that abuses me, disrespects me, who does not honour me as much as I do, I will remove anyone from my life, if I don’t feel the level of honour and respect I have for myself” – and then follow up, give yourself that honour, that love, that respect that you have always wanted, waited for, once you have that for yourself, your energy will change and you will become ruthless in the way that you allow people to deal with you.
Once we begin to honour ourself, the world changes, the world aligns to bring more of the same vibration that we have been aligning with, all one-sided relations fall away, takers are dissolved, evil monsters cannot connect with us anymore, we become so elevated, that our energy repels those who do not align with us, friendships break, karmic relationships fall away, karma is cleared, pain and suffering dissolve, we see the truth about everything, we become very good at gaging situations and people.
It is important that we heal our wounds of the past and in childhood, so we have a good life. Healing our past will bring up a lot of traumas, related to our childhood, our upbringing, particularly when we were in the womb and when we were between the ages of 0-7 years of age. These remain in our subconscious all our lives, it is these experiences that mould our adulthood and our experiences. We keep on reliving our childhood experiences all our life.
If our childhood was filled with trauma and dysfunction, then our adult life mirrors that, that’s why people who have an abusive childhood have an abusive adulthood. We relive our childhood experiences over and over and over again, until we reveal to ourself that we need to get our of this cycle and take responsibility for our actions in the present.
It’s not our fault what happened in the past, particularly when we were children, but when we are adult, we must take responsibility for our life, our happiness and all of our decisions, staying stuck in the past, blaming others for our failure is not taking responsibility for our own life.
Taking responsibility means taking our powers back, stop blaming the past (and people in it) for our failures, heal ourselves and move on from a painful past to a beautiful present, a lot of work is needed for this, but it is possible to have a beautiful life filled with love once we take responsibility of our own life, wellbeing and happiness.
There are many ways to heal the self, to reach the point of self love, forgiveness, unconditional love and compassion for those who have harmed us. By seeing them as beings who had too much pain, who did not know how to live life, how to make their own life better, how to love others, their way of showing love was to control, enslave, possess what they felt was theirs, they did not know freedom, but have always been caged, how to take responsibility for their own happiness and wellbeing, by having strong boundaries, by saying no, by standing up for themself and by honouring themself.
Those who control and enslave others into relationships of enslavement are not happy for themself, being themself, they will pass on their pain and suffering to others through abuse, psychological, spiritual, emotional, physical, psychic/mental abuse and control. That’s all they know and are used to. They have been doing this forever and they are not able to change. These people lose a lot because they do have a lot of loving people in their lives, but because of their enslavement of those around them, they end up alone and rejected.
No one wants those who control, enslave, abuse others, so – they tend to end up totally alone and their cycle of abuse, resentment, hatred continue for those beings. They don’t want to break the cycle and habits they have become so accustomed to. After all, owning other people’s powers is such a boost of power for the self isn’t it? they don’t want to do the hard work of looking at their own source of pain and suffering, to unveil the truth about their ways and start the healing, so, we have to move on, without them, to make sure that we are healthy, happy, heal in a safe place without those who control, manipulate, harm and abuse.
Once we reach that level of self love, we have taken responsibility of our own happiness.
What is Karma? What are Karmic Relationships? Why Karmic relationships? Who are Karmic family members, Karmic soul ties? Why do we need these in our life? What do we do with the karmic ties? How do we end these relationships? Should we end these relationships? Can we end Karmic relationships? How do we come out of Karmic ties?
Karma, the chains that bind!
There a lot of questions when it comes to Karmic relationships. I may have to write several pieces regarding this topic. So, first question, what is Karma? Karma means good moral actions. With Karma, it is the intention behind the actions that are most important.
So, why do we have certain lessons with Karma? I.e do we choose those people who hurt us or do we meet them by accident and they bring upon us the pain and misery?
To understand Karma, we have to go back to our past. Karma can go back lifetimes, there are also karma that we accrue in this lifetime, so this is a continuous loop of actions and intentions that continue to accumulate in our bank of karma.
We elect to choose our lessons, the major ones that change our lives, we choose them. Do we choose the murderer, rapist, perpetrator to come into our lives? Some lessons we do, some we don’t. In the past, with civilisations falling and us being part of a lot of deceptions, some lessons we got stuck with.
The most horrible ones, like when we were conquered, enslaved, souls were taken into captivity, these were not our choices, but it was a big deception that took place. This continued for a long time, lifetimes after lifetimes, we didn’t manage to come out of the big deception which led to our own downfall.
A lot of those who brought deception onto us, still do, are still bringing a lot of pain, suffering, this will continue until we break the bind of karma. So, does it mean if we suffer, are taken into slavery, captive of others, that we have bad karma?
No, it means we were deceived by dark forces, we were taken into slavery, captivity, because we were too trusting. Many nations were conquered, people taken into slavery, hard labour, people were raped, harmed, killed, abused. This is still carrying on right now.
If you have a bad life, this is due to the fact that many of us were taken captive, so, we continue to be taken captive in different ways, may be a bad husband, abusive family member/s, neglectful mother/father. The souls come back to relive the same lessons, until the bind is broken by a party.
We also choose certain lessons, because we want to learn and become stronger. So, we choose certain people and lessons, because we want to clear the slate with them. We go through bad stuff with them, which is purely karmic, these are not loving relationships, this is where we learn through pain and suffering and when the lessons are learnt they leave our lives.
These are purely karmic relationships. They don’t bring love, they bring pain and suffering and through these we learn big soul lessons. Karmic relationships are not life-long relationships – but they can be, if lessons are not learnt, they remain in our lives, for as long as needed, until the soul learns to respect, honour and love itself. That’s when Karma is cleared.
Karma is cleared when a soul comes onto the path of self love and loving others. Karma is a big loop of endless outstanding lessons, that come together or one after another, because it waits to be cleared. The soul elects for the timing of these lessons. The most major ones teach us the arts of darkness – to align with our own dark side, it also teaches us to accept darkness as a way to balance ourselves.
Karmic relationships exit our life once the lessons are learnt. They aren’t here to come back or remain after the lessons are learnt. The chain is broken, the souls are freed, with very, very difficult karmic relationships, where there is a lot of abuse, death, trauma, the soul waits to free itself from this extreme karma.
Karma could have been accrued from lifetimes of enslavement by dark souls of our light bodies. When major civilisations fell in the past, dark forces took control of people who were of light origin. This is still taking place right now, so, the higher the soul mission, the greater the fall. As time is not linear, everything is still happening right this moment, the past is also the present and the future, that means civilisations are still falling right now, people are dying, being killed, murdered as history repeats itself, until we say NO! and do the inner work.
So, the enslaver who enslaved a lot of people has not gone away, s/he has transformed into the evil boss, husband/partner, family member or friend, who is going to take what they took a long time ago, unless these lessons are dissolved. The abuser does not go away, it transforms into a different form.
Everyone who meets us and play a major part in our lives, we have met in the past, in past lifetimes. The evil monster comes back to cross path with us, one way or another, nothing goes away by itself, unless we take our life in control totally and decide that it’s time to remove evil, transform our lives into what we want, unless we take full control and face our demons who took our powers away.
Karmic relations come to take our powers away, it is all about losing everything to them, so that we can take back our powers, become more powerful when we take our powers back from them. This can take many lifetimes, if you decide enough is enough with them, then the karma will be cleared in this lifetime.
Once karma is cleared, the person goes away for good, the lesson doesn’t have to be repeated again. Long term loving relationships are not karmic. They are what the soul chooses to heal the pain of karmic relationships. So, there may be a strange balance of love and pain in your life. The karma brings painful lessons and a loving relationship brings the healing, so the soul is able to cope.
To heal karmic relationships, we must not only forgive the people who harmed us, but also stand up to them, have strong boundaries, teach them to respect us, face our fears for them or the chain keeps on binding us stronger, for longer. Once we face our fears with these beings who are karmic, we release them once and for all. They could go back lifetimes when we fell in magical times, they took our powers away, enslaved our souls and in this lifetime, we take our powers back from them, this is when we stand up to them, to the pain and horror they have caused us and clear the slate forever.
We do not come back to have another relationship with karmic relations. This is it, it’s over once we clear the slate with them and thank goddess for that, I bet you don’t ever want to see their face ever again.
A published author x 4
* Healing Express Oracle Book
*Heal YourSELF Part 1
*Heal YourSELF with Self Love
*Heal YourSELF - Self Empowerment Oracle Cards; a 44-Deck Divination Card set.
Academically, trained in the legal field.
Postgraduate in International Relations and Globalisation.
Post Graduate in Law LLM (Barrister Training)
Post Graduate in Teaching (Lecturer)
Graduate in Law
A lecturer currently working with adult students. Also specialised in Disability and Special Educational Needs, this is the part where I give back to the world, in service to humanity.
A Super Success Coach - I have a love of communicating and so I am branching my passion into speaking publicly. One of my passion in life; speaking.
A sculptor; who makes functional art. Check out my pages.
Artistic Soul - I draw, paint and love life in colours.
It's only the beginning!
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Kiran G
Stuck in the Past?
